Signatures and News

And a hearty good morning to all.

I decided this past weekend to (once again) fire up this IMHO blog. This time, sincerely keeping them short--thus increasing the chances I can actually put something up most every day. ... Well, within reason, of course.

So, it's only 10:30 AM here. I've been at work for a little over 2 hours (Now on my 15-minute break, in case anyone from management is checking in). Yet, I've somehow come across two interesting thoughts that just have made me laugh.


Signature Lines on Emails

I received an email from a colleague earlier today necessary for research. This was the first time I emailed this person (and in all honesty, have never actually met this person), and thus, saw her email signature ever.

Now for those unfamiliar with an email Signature, business individuals who use a program to manage their email will oft-times personalize their email templates to already have their name and contact information at the bottom. Usually, this is nothing more than a name, title, address, phone number... that sort of thing.

However, this email I received today had a pithy saying at the end of it. (I really should call it a 'pity' saying, as you'll soon discover) Now, this in itself isn't really unusual--on the occasional online forum, I'll do the same. However, this particuar line actually had created a paradox in space and time. I'm surprised my computer has not imploded from receiving an email from her.

The message, for fear of crashing this blog server, is read below:


YOU ONLY FAIL, WHEN YOU DON'T TRY
I actually spent about 5 minutes dissecting this sentence. Take a minute to gather your own thoughts about it before reading on. I'll wait...

Ok, back with me?

First of all, the line itself is a falsity. There are plenty of people who try and fail. Consider my high school career. I did fine in every class except Calculus, which I tried my best at, and still failed. Thus, the sentence itself is not true.

However, my biggest concern was the paradox in it. The grammar is incorrect. There is a comma where there should be no comma, and no period where there should be at the end. Thus... she failed. However, by the context of the information in the statement itself, she didn't fail, because she tried. Thus is born a paradox. It's one of those English Faux Pas that you learn about in College English I; like 'There is no error in this sentance.' I know this seems like nit-picking, but for a professional LEGAL businesswoman to have a paradox in their signature line... well, it scares me.


News Articles that make you think...

My workmate, Becky, on her 15-minute break, was reading news articles from the local paper's website reciting of the news. She brought to my attention that 'From the news desk', at the top of the page, told the story of a local woman who just today won $1,500 dollars in a contest that her local bank was holding. Talk about a slow news day, huh?

Well, our gripe comes in the form of the fact that this story is... well, how do I put this.... NOT NEWS. In fact, one would go so far as to say that many readers wouldn't really CARE about this particular story. In general then, the point is how newspapers, television reporters, and Web news sites, when choosing their 'top stories', always puts some article that nobody really cares about. For instance, when Yahoo puts on their top four links under 'News' a video of a 6-month old kitten batting around a ball of yarn. Cute? Of course. Sharable with friends? Absolutely. News? To my friend's 3 year old daughter, perhaps, but not to me.

To reinforce this point, referring back to the news article Becky was looking at, the stories that the money winner TRUMPED included a plane crash (in a town about 50 miles away), a child being killed in his driveway, as well as some seasonal medical advice that could help hundreds.

Do you see the problem here? Not that it doesn't matter some random lady won money from a bank--I think it's great... wish it was me. It just... isn't news.

In my honest opinion, I believe that Newspapers and TV News programs should have some sort of a section separate from the news... Actually, wait... they do. It's called Editorials, Opinions, or OTHER FLIPPIN' SHOWS OTHER THAN THE NEWS. At the very least, have a section called Not News to talk about it. Not 'Entertainment News' or 'Film Reviews'--just Not News. Is that so much to not muddy the definition of News for the people today?