And That's When It Occurred To Me....

I think I've finally figured out how to fix the economy.

Before I can go into it, though, I have to explain how I got to this revelation.

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about Health Care. Arguments on this side about public options and on that side about pushing bills through Congress, this side about Medicaid and that side about budgeting so that it can be affordable. It's about 10 minutes every day of news reiterating what's been said, reminding us all of concepts over our heads or of little-used political tactics. (Personally, I don't really care one way or the other. Sure, I'd like it to go through, but I'm sure I'll survive if it doesn't.)

At the forefront of all of this is a growing number of people who want 'their voice to be heard'. Every day, it seems now, there's a large group of people either in front of the White House or in front of Capitol Hill or in front of a Town Hall in Cheboygan, Michigan, gathered to yell without megaphones some sort of rhythmic chant concerning their stand on health care. Without getting too far into politics, I feel that they should have the ability to voice their opinions, but many of the people interviewed or photographed in these 'rallies' come across as boarish and insensible, oftentimes screaming, as if the volume of their voice is going to make their point more substantial.

So, I'm on my way to work this morning, and, yes, once again, NPR is talking about a 'rally' of people supporting one way or the other on the Health Care bill. I start to imagine that there are more of these groups starting than there are Star Wars fan clubs across the world. Then, as the radio coverage continues, a thought occurs to me: 'Don't these people have lives or something?' I mean, it's very important to make sure that people aren't having their rights abused or having their thoughts ignored, but I was under the impression that's what the representatives that are actually IN Congress was for. Meanwhile, we have families and jobs to take care of. We can't be wasting all of our time hanging out in groups fighting for every thing that annoys us.

And That's When It Occurred To Me: They DON'T have jobs!

They've lost their jobs for taking off so many days going to argue about the fact that the government hasn't fixed the unemployment rate! That's the only explanation. The unemployment rate goes up as people lose their jobs arguing about the unemployment rate going up, which capitulates into more people losing their jobs and arguing about the increase of job loss. It's a mobius strip that continues on into infinity.

Then the irony kicks in. People have lost their jobs because of 'fighting for their rights'--now they can't afford their Mortgage Payments, because they have no income. Which means that the sub-prime mortgage bubble bursts, causing the economy to divebomb. Which, of course, causes interest rates to skyrocket. Which, of course leads to... a crisis of Health Care! The circle is complete!!!

So, how do we fix the economy? If people stop gathering in groups and yelling at the White House and get back to work, they can afford their home Mortgages, the economy stabilizes, insurance rates go down, and there would be no need for Health Care overhaul. Isn't it funny that the way that these Health Care groups that are marching can actually accomplish their goal by giving up on what they're doing?

Full Circle

A little less than two years ago or so, my wife had an itch for an iPod. It was insatiable. Despite any logic I could promote, she still had a want for one. Eventually, my logic won her over.

However, many friends and workmates of mine have this device, and from news reports and advertisements, it's become very clear that it is a famous and "revolutionary" device. I, of course, place that last adjective in quotations because I find it a suspect term. I mean, is the iPod really all that revolutionary?

Some of my friends tell me, 'It's great, because you can load SO much music on it'. Well, that may be true, but exactly how much of it do you ever listen to? I have an mp3 player in my car, I keep at any time about 5 disks full of albums in an attempt to condense them. I admit, it is very convenient to have them all on just a few disks at arm's reach. However, I have listened to about 5 or 6 albums in the last 4 or 5 months on those disks. It's great to have them at your disposal, but how much do they actually get used?

After this usage of the iPod, it all goes downhill quick. Other friends assert, 'You can put all of your music on shuffle--it's totally random! You don't know WHAT you're about to get'. Growing up, we called that a radio. And sure enough, I listened to an oldie-variety station on the way to work this morning and got that EXACT same feeling. In fact, I get to hear songs I don't technically own that way as well.

Another argument: 'It's a portable means of carrying all of your songs with you'. So's my walkman. Sorry to say, but this technology has been around some 20 years as well. Not too innovative, sorry.

Sure, iPods are great, albeit increasingly shrinking in size. Soon, we're going to all have to wear reading glasses to choose our Journey album of choice... er... well, THE Journey album that we own. (Seriously, who has anything other than just their Greatest Hits?) I'm not taking potshots at the product--I think it has its virtues. I'm just simply saying that it's not the revolutionary device that most people think it is. At best, it's a convenience upgrade.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

/FAWM

FAWM is over. I have thus relinquished control of this blog from updates of the FAWM (That, coincidentally, I did not 'win'--getting only 10 songs done) and turn my attention back to the satirical thoughts that come up.

For instance, am I the only one completely annoyed by those 'Ask Gary' commercials? I know I'm not. No other human being can possibly build up such a tolerance level that they can get through those commercials without thinking ill of the company (or in some cases, the spokesperson... I'm talking to you, Roz).

The commercials themselves don't even make that much sense. Here's the gist, in case you haven't watched a lick of television in the last couple of years: A paid spokesperson (and they actually come out and identify themselves that way, verbally) is driving a car and mentions that, should they get into an accident, they wouldn't know who to call, expressing a line similar to 'I'm no doctor or lawyer'. Thus they tell the audience that they would want to call Ask Gary to be referred to a lawyer and/or doctor.

First... really? Is this the best way to advertise your service? Have someone come out and say, 'I'm not an expert in this field, but...' It's like I'm watching a commercial for a car dealership, presented with a goofy man in a polka dot tie, bouncing around and stating 'I'm no expert on cars, but if I needed a car, I'd come here.' If the spokesperson is not an expert, why are they the spokesperson? If you owned a company, would you want your PR to come out and say they know nothing of the service? "Come to Domino's. I don't know the first thing about making pizzas, but they're good, aren't they?" Workable? Sure. Smart? Not exactly.

Second, in the commercials, the spokespeople are always looking at the camera while they drive. IF they get into an accident? I think everyone who's done a commercial for Ask Gary GOT into an accident while filming! That's a horrible way to sell a service--when the representatives themselves are lackadaisical about their own driving skills. "Do you suck at driving? You'll probably get into an accident like I no doubt will. So when that happens, you should call Ask Gary."